Chapter 1 — Chapter 1

"I have no suitors? How can that be?" I protested, standing before my mother in her parlor.

"Thirty years ago, there were some, but you showed no interest," she calmly stated.

"I'm only eighty! Elf women marry at a hundred, even two hundred years old!" I paced nervously across the carpet.

"My dear, you're a necromancer!" She set aside her embroidery and looked at me.

"And?" I looked at her, puzzled. "I'm the sole heiress of our family. The richest and most powerful in this world. What's wrong with that?"

"My concern is how you manage to live, oblivious to everything around you?" Mother sighed mournfully. "No one wants heirs with dark magic! Before it awakened in you, there were nearly a hundred suitors eager to marry you! Now, there are none!"

"What am I supposed to do?" I loomed over her, trying to grasp what was happening.

"I don't know, but I warn you: I won't tolerate a mésalliance. That is, anyone below our social class! But I'd approve even a goblin of royal blood! Elven blood always prevails!"

"A goblin?" I stared at her as if seeing her for the first time. "For an elf like me?"

"What's wrong with that? I want grandchildren! Also, my summer castle is now yours, so please move out! The stench from your laboratory has taken over the entire house! The flowers are wilting, and we can't attract guests!" Mother pursed her lips, a sign of utmost irritation.

"You'll have your grandchildren!" I declared firmly, straightening up, turning around, and leaving the room.

My friend isn't wrong when she calls me a bookish spinster. While I spent my time studying, she went through a bunch of donors, using them not just for sustenance...

I think she won't refuse to help me find a husband!

***

After sending a message to my friend that I was waiting for her, I stayed in my tower for the time being. I couldn't go to her place; it's just how it is, vampires and elves are sworn enemies. We became friends when I was digging up a fresh corpse in the graveyard, and she was looking for a victim... No, not to drink blood, but to complain about her mother, who had taken away her new toy again. Apparently, humans should give their blood willingly!

I told her about how my mother didn't support my interest in corpses and forbade me from bringing them home! We bonded over our parental restrictions. We met in one of the old crypts in the same graveyard, where no one and nothing could stop me.

As soon as it got dark, I opened a portal and headed to the only place where I felt at home. Quiet, peaceful, though occasionally the ghouls would wake up, but with my magic, it was no trouble to put them back to rest. Walking dead are rare, usually raised by someone's vengeance, but they're fun... I kept a couple for entertainment. These creatures thought they were alive until I convinced them otherwise. When chunks of flesh fall off you as you walk, it's odd to think you're alive. But it's fun to watch!

"Oh, fresh ones!" I stopped by three new graves.

"You're still into your usual routine, not interested in the living!" Karina hung from a tree branch.

"I am interested!" I protested.

"Really? Since when?" She dropped from the branch, transforming from a bat. Though it was hard to call it a bat: a gray, leathery body without sexual characteristics, wings, a tail, clawed hind legs, long-fingered hands, and a somewhat recognizable face. But as a human, she was beautiful!

"Since now!" I grumbled. "Mother announced that there are no suitors left for me! And they asked me to leave the castle..."

"Wow! Cool!" My friend seemed oddly pleased, but seeing my surprised face, she added, "Well, cool that you get your own place! I'll only get that after marriage... Five brothers, and I'm the only girl, and, by the way, there aren't many suitors. All the decent ones are either taken or dead!"

"But there are candidates, right?" I snorted. Poor thing, the only girl in the family, pampered and cherished. I have seven sisters and no brothers!

"There are," my friend suddenly deflated, "but I don't like them!"

"And your mother?" We reached the crypt, and I opened the door. With a snap of my fingers, I lit the magical lamps, and two dead bodies sprang to life, quickly setting the table. I strictly forbade them from speaking; I love silence, and their jaws never stop moving!

"She... doesn't either! The only one she liked died a year ago, our prince!" She flopped into a chair and snorted in annoyance.

"That awful guy? She liked him?" I shuddered. It was good they sent him to the other world; he was a real creep. But he kept all the vampires in check, no doubt about it, he was a good prince! But an awful guy... Those red eyes and that perpetually disdainful expression... as if they served him goblin blood instead of fresh human blood!

"Yes! And, by the way, there's still no successor. The artifact that determines lineage is silent! She always dreamed I'd bear him an heir, and we'd rise even higher in status! And I'm quite glad someone killed him! He always looked at me with a hungry gaze," she grimaced.

"So, they never found out who did it?" I asked, interested. By the way, vampires don't leave bodies after death, they turn to dust. Though I'd like to see what's inside them...

"No, the killer left no scent, no aura—nothing! Just a pile of ashes, that's all!"

"Clever, and most importantly—why? No successor, you can't divide the power now, you're in complete chaos!" I shrugged.

"Oh, I don't care, but my mom—yes, she's clearly planning something! Anyway, we got sidetracked! Why did you call me?"

"I have no suitors left; it's time to settle down!"

"So, it's about the law that you have to marry before a hundred years old?" she asked with understanding.

"Yes, for elf women, but not for you!"

"Oh, well, so what if you don't get married..."

"They'll banish me to the cursed lands!" I got angry, and green sparks flew from me.

"And you can live there! It's also..." Karina was acting strangely.

"Will you help me or not?" I looked at her. Vampire women are beautiful, not a single ugly one among them. There she sat, a delicate beauty with pale skin and bright red lips like a batik painting. Her huge blue eyes framed by fluffy lashes, and a chestnut mane of hair, each strand perfectly aligned, framing her doll-like face. Her bust prominently displayed in the décolletage, wide hips with a slender waist. And me? A skinny disappointment with barely any breasts, flat hips... and thin white hair. Oh, and a thin nose, ears sticking out like sharp peaks from my hair, pale eyelashes, and eyes of an undefined dirty color. My lips like two razor-thin strips... A beauty! I still don't understand how I, born to true elves, turned out like this! My sisters are all married, every one of them a beauty!

"With what? Share my suitors? Take them all if you want!" She thoughtfully twirled a strand of hair around her tiny finger.

"Is there even one with royal blood?" I was surprised by her generosity.

"No! Princes are few and far between, and there are no royals at all. Free men, that is, you can count on one hand, but women? They're everywhere!"

"Earls?" I started recalling who ranked below kings. "Dukes?"

"Don't you want a king?" Karina laughed.

"Ugh, no... he has eight mistresses, nineteen daughters! And he's a thousand years old! Yuck!" I shuddered again at the memory of my first and last meeting with the crowned one. A lustful old man, never married, but changing mistresses at a dizzying pace.

"Exactly! But I'll think about how to help you. I'm not in a rush to get married, no deadlines pressing me," she teased me. "Go ahead, settle into the summer castle, I'll come visit you!"

"I don't want to go there, there's not a single cemetery nearby! And it's been abandoned by Mother for a hundred years! Even the lake seems to have dried up..."

"Hire servants! Let them tidy it up, and I'll arrange a cemetery for you! Somewhere to hide my innocently killed victims from Mom!" She bared her fangs menacingly.

"Murdering people is forbidden, what are you getting at?" I looked at her in surprise. No, I didn't suffer from excessive pity for the short-lived humans. But killing... I prefer the dead.

"I'll let you in on a dark secret: in the last hundred years, not a single vampire has been born in our world except me. In the previous century, only my brothers... before that, three families had additions, nine vampires," she said, "in three hundred years, only one female vampire, and that's me!"

"I wouldn't risk it... Just because you're the only one doesn't give you the right to kill!" I protested.

"But no one will punish me," she looked at the table, picked off some cream from a pastry with her long nail, and put it in her mouth. "Don't worry, it happens rarely! Once a week, even less!"

"With a prince, you'd be locked in a castle at the very least, forbidden to leave!" I was baffled.

"But there's no prince!" Karina laughed. "Alright, I'm off, Mom's lost me again," she tilted her head as if listening to something, "I'll find you if there's news. Don't write to me anymore!"

"Are you under house arrest again?" I guessed.

"Yes, as if that would hold me," she snorted, and turning around, climbed onto the ceiling beams and slipped out through the open window in an instant.

***

So: I, the youngest duchess of the Abel family — Beatrice Enethiel. I'm eighty years old, and when I turn a hundred, they'll throw me out of my comfort zone into the cursed swamps. There's no way back, and only one in a hundred survives there, becoming a puppet of darkness. A dead, obedient puppet...

Therefore, announcement: seeking a husband of royal blood, not old, preferably under five hundred years. Marriage to a duke, earl, or prince is possible! Urgently!

P.S: No goblins, undead, or gargoyles, please!